


Flaky Ceilings

by HerMeOwn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Fluff, Humor, M/M, References to Arctic Monkeys, Romance, a little angsty, not a song!fic but i wish it was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15201497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerMeOwn/pseuds/HerMeOwn
Summary: Sirius was so... adventurous, and fun. He's not the kind of guy who seemed to settle down or want to stay in a relationship with someone for more than 3 months.Remus on the other hand? He was the kind of guy that didn't even get into relationships because he was too afraid his partner would leave him once they found out how boring he was in comparison.Sirius liked motorcycles, and Remus liked libraries.Sirius liked the wind in his hair, and well, he liked a gentle breeze.If Sirius was a hurricane then he... well, he was not going to complete this train of thought with a John Green quote.But his point was that Sirius was a free spirit and he was going to break Remus' heart one way or the other, because he was very much in love with him.This was a terrible fucking idea, he suddenly concluded, to have Sirius stay over at his place for summer like this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Flaky Ceilings is an homage both to my favourite ship of all time, and my favourite band of all time. I always thought Alex Turner and Sirius Black were alike in a lot of ways (leather jackets, motorcylce-aesthetic, hopeless romantics), so here is a mesh of the two--sort of. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I liked writing it.

Remus sat down on his bed, first day home after another year at Hogwarts. He could hear his parents shuffling about downstairs, mum trying to get supper going and dad fussing about the place with his luggage. His dad had insisted on leaving his luggage downstairs instead of bringing it up to Remus' room which meant a dozen trips back and forth as he unpacked later that day.

Summer. Ah, summer. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, the lake he can see from his window is inviting, but all he was planning to do was lay on his bed all day and get all his reading done.

Jesus. You can't read any book for fun when you're a Marauder. It's no-reading-all-pranking with them. Which is fine, he was not complaining, but a man's got to read _sometime_ , right?

He picked up Love in the Time of Cholera for 10th time this year. Attempting to read a book with a title such as this is not exactly easy when your friends don't care for literature ("I mean, yes, it _is_ a love story, but it isn't a story like _that_ ! Well maybe it _is_ a story like that, but I wouldn't know if I haven't been able to read it, now, would I, James?!")

But as he picked it up now, images of Sirius swam into his head, Sirius with his wild, soft hair lying on his lap, looking at him with those grey eyes of his, going, "What about love in the time of _now_ , Rem?"

Sighing, he kept his book back on the bedside table and lay down on the bed.

Has his ceiling always looked so... flaky? Need to do something about it, surely.

He looked around his bedroom, the place he's been calling home for the last 16 years of his life, and can't help but feel like a stranger in here.

Home is where Hogwarts is. Sure, it's a shit boarding school where the food tastes like actual cardboard on a good day, but it was _his_ boarding school. It's where he learnt about friendship, and brotherhood, and how to properly skip a rock on a lake. It was where he learnt about the intricacies of relationships, about how to properly kiss a girl (or guy), and about the heartbreak after. It was where his friends were. It was home.

He tried to not think about college the year after. College without the rest of the gang... it might actually be nice. He might actually get some work done, for once. He might even submit his essays a day early, like he was always wanting to, but didn't submit until the last minute because of a convenient 'Marauder Emergency'. But then again, college without Sirius... would that be something he could be okay with? Sirius, his best friend. With his starlit eyes and his crooked smile... he should really stop thinking about him.

He heard the doorbell go off downstairs, snapping him out of his reverie.

"I'll get it!" his mum said, which was immediately followed by a loud squeal. Remus jumped off the bed, immediately fearing the worst. The crime rates in this neighborhood were no joke.

He rushed downstairs, taking the stairs two at a time, and when he got to the end, he stood there, surprised, his mouth agape. There he was, in all his unruly glory.

Sirius Black.

In his doorway.

Holding down his rather excited dog, Padfoot, by a neon leash (which explained his mum's squealing).

He blinked, not quite sure about what was happening.

He had seen Sirius not even three hours ago, waving goodbye at the train station. He had hugged him, trying to hold on for a second more without seeming too clingy or making it weird, preparing for a whole summer of no Sirius.

And here he was.

Sirius waved. "Hello Remus! How's it going?" he said, nonchalantly. As if there was nothing weird about what was happening.

"I... I literally just got home..." Remus mumbled, still standing by the last step on the stairs. His mum was standing the by the doorway, a hand still over her chest, and she looked back and forth between the two.

"Yeah," said Sirius, winking, and tugging at Padfoot's leash, "I just couldn't wait to see you again."

"Uh..."

"Oh okay, so maybe I could have waited a bit longer," Sirius rolled his eyes, "but my mum's kicked me out."

Remus gaped at him. "Well, that must be a new record, then," he said.

"You bet. Last year it took her a whole week to get me out of that soddy place, and I told myself, 'Well, Sirius, this time you can surely do better?' Looks like I outdid myself," he shrugged.

"Well," Remus' mum started, fully aware of Sirius' home situation, "we have a spare room upstairs, if you'd like. It's always nice having one of Remus' friends over."

She reached over Sirius, assuming he must have a bag or something, but realizing all he had was Padfoot, pet his shoulder rather awkwardly, and beckoned him inside.

"Thank you," said Sirius, genuinely grateful, "I didn't really plan on this. I'd stay over just for a bit, if that's alright. I've already texted James to ask if I could go over to his place, and he said it was okay. Just staying for a couple of nights, really." He rambled on, as he took off his coat and unleashed Padfoot, who immediately ran over to Remus.

"Paddy!" Remus called out, and ruffled his big old head. He loved the dog so much, he was willing to take a bullet for him. Paddy saved Remus from a wolf once. Well, not exactly 'saved,' more like barked at a wolf that _may_ have actually been a giant dog, but hey, it kept the wolf-dog away and Remus was safe, so his story can't be disputed. It happened the second year after Padfoot had been 'adopted' by the Marauders (they had found him the previous year near the school's cricket ground, unsure of how a lone pup got there). Remus had taken him out for a walk that evening by the woods near the school and took a detour on his way back. He thought it was a shortcut, but he got lost and while they were cold and hungry and waiting for the rest of the gang to find them, a wolf-dog (or something like that) had appeared through the fog, and Remus was sure one of them was going to die that night. Maybe he overreacted. He didn't know, he didn't care, all he did know though was that Padfoot, lil' old Paddy, barked himself hoarse. It kept the wolfdog-hybrid-from-hell away, and actually aided in a quicker rescue because all that barking could be heard from a mile away.

But they had to then give up Padfoot when the school found out. They didn't give him up obviously. They got creative with hiding spots and eventually had him live with Sirius because he seemed to love him the most of the four. It still stung Remus that Padfoot preferred Sirius over him. Remus _had_ taken care of him for most of the time, after all! Then again, it was Sirius, and of course Padfoot loved him more, everyone did.

They made their way to the kitchen where Remus' dad dragged up another chair by the small dining table, one that didn’t quite match the rest of the chairs, to make room for Sirius.

"Well we're glad that you are here," Mr. Lupin said. "We always have food leftover on the first night Remy is back because she"--he nodded his head towards Mrs. Lupin-- "always gets excited when he's coming over and over does it."

Mrs. Lupin started to set the table at which point, Sirius, for once in his life, actually decided to help. Maybe he was feeling guilty for showing up unannounced, Remus reasoned.

Honestly, the Lupins have always made it clear that Sirius had a room to stay if he needed one, ever since Year 9, when he started school a week late because he "didn't have the cash to find his way back." It was a surprise when he said so, because his parents were loaded, that everyone knew. But what they didn't know was the abuse and the homophobia. No one knew Sirius was bisexual till after that whole debacle, either. It turned out that the Blacks caught their oldest son in a somewhat compromising position with another boy, and they flipped, refusing to send him back to the place that was 'turning their son gay'.

The Lupins (all three of them) were outraged. Both of Remus' parents were advocates for LGBT+ rights when they were in college, and even if they had settled for less exciting careers now (teacher and sales manager) they still vehemently believed in their values.

So they immediately called the school and asked to speak to Sirius over the phone after Remus had texted them, informing them of what had happened. Remus was not entirely sure what happened during that phone call, but Sirius came back to the dorms with a glazed look over his eyes, and gave him this biggest hug he could muster. He nearly smothered Remus to death. Not a bad way to go, if he was being honest.

But, to his slight disappointment, when Sirius' mother kicked him out after a week the following summer, he decided to stay over with James. Not that it should matter, all that he needed was a safe space after all.

Mrs. Lupin really had over done herself this year. They had all the Lupin classics, from the stuffed turkey to the chocolate pudding, and the boys ravished every bit. It was their first taste of real food in a year, who can blame them, really?

"Mrs. Lupin, this is easily the best food I've ever tasted," said Sirius, after gulping down his second helping of chocolate pudding.

Mrs. Lupin smiled sheepishly. "Oh it's nothing," she said, "I try to make all of Remus' favourites when he's back because I know Hogwarts doesn't always have the best food."

Sirius laughed around a mouthful of food. "I don't think that garbage is considered to be food at all." Even Padfoot, who had settled by Remus' feet seemed to be enjoying his helping of meatballs and chicken, which Remus was “accidentally” dropping to the floor.

When they were done with deserts, Mr. Lupin clapped his hands. "Okay! Let's get you upstairs."

They set Sirius up in the guest room next to Remus' bedroom. It used to be Ronan's before he left for college.

Remus missed Ronan on most days, but today he was particularly glad his older brother no longer lived there.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin left the both of them in Ronan's old room, which smelled musty from the lack of use, and still had posters of The Sex Pistols and the Arctic Monkeys from when Remus' brother used it.

The bed was made, there were towels in the closet, and some of Ronan's old clothes too.

"So...," Remus started, the questions burning on his tongue. He wanted to know what happened back in Grimmauld Place, if Sirius was okay, and if he needed to fight someone. His family had pretty much avoided the topic throughout dinner for the sake of Sirius' privacy, but he couldn't hold it in any longer.

Sirius sat on the bed with a plomp and looked at him, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Remus asked.

"You know what? Not really."

Remus shrugged. He understood that one needed space for such things. But again, this was Sirius, not just anyone. He can't NOT know. It was time to pull the age old trick of deflect and attack.

So he leaned against the dresser across the bed and changed the subject.

"Ten bucks says Padfoot finds his way to my bed tonight."

Sirius scoffed. "He has missed _me_ all this while. Why would he even think about sleeping over on your bed when he could be here with me? I'm also clearly the better looking of the two--"

"Yeah, and he probably prefers to hang around people that smell like him, anyway."

Remus ducked, the pillow nearly missing his head.

Laughing, Sirius said, "I do not smell like dog!"

"Well, you know whom I think would be the judge of that?" Remus asked, teasing.

"Whom?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Thorne, obviously."

"Thorne? Jonathan? John told you I smelled like dog?"

"I mean he didn't SAY it, but then again, I haven't asked..."

"The dickhead he is, he would probably say I do," Sirius huffed. "Just to be clear, HE snogged ME in the locker room."

"I believe you," Remus said, trying to sound as unconvinced as possible.

"It's true!"

"Weeelll, your previous history of snogs in locker rooms beg to differ," he teased.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but I vowed to not do that anymore last year, remember?" he trailed. He got quiet then, and looked down at his feet.

"Mum found out about him through Reg," he said, finally (deflect and attack always worked).

"Your mum found about the boy who kissed you for a hot minute?" Remus asked, confused. Sirius kissing boys is not news for... Well, literally anyone.

Everyone at Hogwarts knew he was bi after Year 9. His parents were the first to know, hence the "No more Hogwarts!" proclamation. Rumors spread fast and quick, and Sirius, ever being himself, just owned it. He went around like everything was completely normal and when anyone brought up his sexuality, he would just say, "Yep!" Or "You betcha!"

Remus always thought that the way he handled it was what made the whole thing so... chill. He was afraid that people would judge, push him away, and just act homophobic in general, but he had to give it up to his classmates. Then again, Sirius was not just anybody. He was Sirius Orion Black. Of course people would be accepting, everyone loved him.

"But your mum... she already knows you're bi..." Remus ventured.

"Yeah, and she didn't care about all the other boys; just that John Thorne happens to be the son of a certain Albert Thorne, a friend of my father's. For some reason, the Thorne family is convinced that _I_ have something to do with their heir apparent turning gay... I mean, yes, I admit, I have the looks that a lot of folk would turn gay for, but really?" he said, humorlessly. "So now mum's pissed because she was hoping me being bi would have been this dark family secret, that I would've settled for a girl in the end anyway, and now I've gone and ruined it by making the good old Thornes subject to the same 'disease'."

Remus rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"Well that fucking sucks."

"Huh. You're telling me."

Sirius let himself fall backwards on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"No, but this really sucks, because Thorne DID kiss you first, then told everyone you made the move, and then never talked to you after the locker room incident. He kept avoiding you like the plague the entire year," Remus said. He noticed that his voice was rising.

"Yeah, he used me and then spent the entire year feeling guilty."

"Why did Reg bring that up with your mum?" Remus asked. Regulus, Sirius' younger brother, was on their side, he thought. The one person in the Black family that Sirius didn't outright hate.

Sirius sighed.

"He was trying to help," he said. "He thought that if mum and dad knew about how the Thornes also had a gay son, they would treat their own son a little better. It backfired, obviously."

Remus sighed.

What a mess.

He made his way to the bed and laid down next to him. "I'm sorry," he said, quietly.

After a few seconds of laying there, staring at the ceiling (which Remus noticed was also flaky), he could feel Sirius reach out to touch his hand. Curling his fingers over Remus’ hand, he said, "You don't have to be sorry, Rem. Just lay here with me a sec."

"Of course," he replied. "Always."

After what seemed like hours, but really were just a few minutes, Remus could hear Sirius breathe gently, his chest falling and rising rhythmically. Sirius' hand was still over his. Remus could feel how soft they felt, how gentle.

He suddenly felt really pissed off. Fuck the Blacks,really. They could go die in a hell hole.

Remus took a deep breath to calm down and turned his head around to look at Sirius. Sirius was so close, Remus could feel the warmth from his body, count the lashes on his eyelids. Remus decided that he could lay here forever, just breathing him in.

He smelled like chocolate. And a bit like love.

Remus got off the bed, as gently as he could, and laid the blanket over his still-clothed body. If Sirius was anyone else in the whole world, Remus would have undressed him, maybe even helped him into new PJs in his half-asleep state (like he had with James and Peter countless times before) but this was Sirius, and Remus actually wanted to sleep tonight, not lay around in bed all hot and bothered.

Just before leaving, he hesitated, and then quickly pecked a kiss on Sirius' forehead. He had developed this habit in Year 9, the first night Sirius was back, and made sure he gave him one on all the days he felt like Sirius needed extra comfort.

Sirius stirred a bit, but didn't wake up for which Remus was thanking his lucky stars.

If he ever found out that Remus kissed him after he went to bed sometimes, Remus thought he would die.

He turned the lights off and shut the door gently behind him.

He then opened the door to his own room, and immediately spotted Padfoot taking up half his bed space. He snorted.

Yeah, there was no way Padfoot would have chosen Sirius over him. "You owe me ten," he whispered, to no one in particular.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

Well. This was turning out to be better than Remus thought.

James called in the morning before he had woken, and had regretfully informed Sirius that his family was hosting a reunion for the Potters, and that they were going to be at full occupancy until the next weekend.

Sirius informed the Lupins rather hesitantly, but Mr. and Mrs. Lupin didn't do anything to hide their excitement at having an extra person around the house. Remus suspected they finally felt like their house was full again.

"I think you are their Christmas gift come early," he said, when Sirius brought it up again after breakfast. They were lounging in his dad's study, empty as Mr. Lupin was at work.

"Really? You sure I'm not intruding? God, this sucks, I'm so sorry that I just showed up... I just, I don't know, James actually lives closer to my place, but I just thought of you and your parents and how kind they were when the whole thing blew up, and I just, I felt like I was safe here, you know?" He ran his hands through his hair, clearly distraught.

Remus could have hugged him right then.

"Sirius?" he said, putting a hand over his shoulder. He turned towards him, eyes looking guilty. "Shut the fuck up, and lighten up a bit. You're at the Lupins! We have a lake, a treehouse I haven't been inside of since I was twelve, and all of Ronan's old music collection. Just have fun, and stop being such a prick."

Sirius broke into a laugh, his eyes crinkling. "And don't forget to leave a raving Yelp review,” he added.

 

They decided to spend the day by the pond that afternoon.

Remus would have stayed indoors, settling for Love in the Time of Cholera (for the 11th time, and counting) but Sirius would hear none of it.

Remus was not sure why it was called a pond, even. It was hardly a few meters deep at its deepest, and about a kilometer wide, maybe? It was a glorified pool, if you asked him.

But it was beautiful. The park that it was in was lush with green leaves and flowers that were still in bloom from spring. The lake (pond!) was cool and clear, and you could see the trees reflected off of it.

People were milling about, kids of all ages with their families, groups of girls their age with their boyfriends and girlfriends.

Sirius was wearing Remus' yellow shorts, his bare chest for all the world to see.

They were lying down next to each other, alternating between soaking up the sun and filling their stomachs with the sandwiches Mrs. Lupin made.

Remus might have been thinking this just because he fancied Sirius, but really, even if he wasn’t biased, he was sure he would have still found the boy pretty damn hot.

What Sirius had, was a swimmers body. A V, a nice one too, which made his chest look huge and his back look ripped. Remus wondered what it would be like to touch those bits of him.

"Checking me out, are you?" Sirius called out, lazily.

Remus' cheeks turned bright red. "Wh--no, what?"

Sirius laughed. "I'm just kidding, Rem. So when are you planning to get into the water, exactly?"

"Never," Remus replied. "Don't you see the sign?" he pointed at a 'No Swimming' sign a few feet away from them.

"But all those ladies are dying to see you get in," Sirius teased.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yeah I'm sure they are."

"Remus, you can't possibly say no to this," Sirius said, gesturing towards the lake. "People dream of perfect summers like this! The sun, the park, the pond, breaking a few rules here and there..."

"Yeah well my idea of a perfect summer is sitting by my bed reading, but I don't get to do that, do I?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and groaned.

Just then, a blur of brown passed by them, headed full speed into the pond.

"See? Padfoot gets it." Sirius said.

Paddy jumped into the lake with such speed that he sent water splashing onto a few children that were sitting a bit too close.

He looked so gleeful, and utterly pleased with himself.

Then, after paddling around for a few minutes, he walked over to where they were sitting.

Could Sirius communicate to dogs telepathically? Because what Pad does next is shake himself dry, sending large drops of water right towards Remus' face.

Sirius howled with laughter.

Remus couldn't even bring myself to be mad, really.

Just then, a girl Remus vaguely recognized, walked over to them. She had brown hair, and chocolate coloured eyes, and she seemed to glow in the sun. She was wearing a light summer dress that fluttered in the breeze. She looked a bit shy at first, like she wasn't sure if she recognized Remus, but as she got closer and saw the flash of recognition on Remus' face, her own face broke into smile. "Remus?" she asked, tentatively. "Yeah! Daisy?" Remus asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed, her smile turning into a grin. "I can't believe it's you!" She hugged him, and Remus noted that she smelled quite nice.

"Wow, it's been, what, five years?" Remus asked his hand immediately going to the back of his neck as a reflex. "Nearly six!" She said.

"Oh, er, Daisy this is Sirius," he said, by way of an introduction.

Sirius, smirking, held his hand out to shake hers.

"Daisy and I were in middle school together," Remus continued, his cheeks turning slightly pink. His hand went back to his neck. "And Daisy, this is Sirius, he's a friend of mine from high school."

"Oh yeah, you moved away to a boarding school, right?" she asked, as she shaked Sirius's hand. Remus nodded.

"So.... How have you been?" asked Daisy. She seemed really happy to see him, and Remus was overcome with the warmth she was emanating. He always remembered Daisy to be this way, even in middle school.

"I've been good!" he said, "just trying to get through high school so I can graduate and do what I really want to."

"Which is?" she asked.

"I haven't decided yet," said Remus, shrugging.

She laughed. "If you're the same kid I used to remember, you would pick something with lots of reading, like law." Sirius laughed at that. "He really hasn't changed much," he said, pointing to Remus's copy of Love in the Time of Cholera.

"Oh I loved that book," Daisy said, after seeing what it was. Then looking back, towards what Remus could only assume were her friends, she said, "Well, Remus, this was really great! Now that you're down for the summer, we should really meet up more and, you know, catch up." she self-consciously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I would like that," Remus said.

"Great! Hey, we're actually having a bonfire over the weekend at Bay's Peak. Would you like to come?" she asked. Remus didn’t actually mean it when he said he would like to meet and catch up with her, and he was about to make up some lame excuse, when Sirius said, "That sounds fantastic. Count us in."

She smiled brightly. "Great! We're on for Saturday at seven," she said. "Well, see you, then." She waved goodbye and joined her friends who were clearly waiting for her so they could leave.

When Remus turned to look at Sirius, fully ready to reprimand him for accepting her offer, he saw him smirking at him like he was in on some secret.

"What?" asked Remus, feeling a bit wary.

"Oooh, nothing," said Sirius, in a sing-song voice.

Remus rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks go pink again.

"So Daisy, huh? What's up with her?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing!" Remus said, a bit too quickly. "I mean, I haven't seen her for nearly six years, what could there possibly be?"

Sirius giggled. "Sure, yeah, all the blushing and the neck rubbing is a result of what, then?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't know what you mean."

As they headed back home later that evening, Padfoot in tow, they started to talk about some football game that was on later that day. Remus didn't follow footy, but he got dragged into those conversations because his father and brother were both did.

It was only when they were feet away from the Lupins' backdoor, when Sirius abruptly stopped, turned and asked point blank, "Are there no girls around here that you like?" Remus was completely taken aback. "Wh-what?" he stammered. Sirius flapped his hands. "You've never dated anyone! There are quite a few pretty girls around here. And yet you've never dated a single one. Why?"

Remus blinked. "Well, yeah, I mean... I don't know, I never found myself fawning for any of them," he mumbled. "Well, except..." he started.

Sirius was going to find out anyway, so Remus figured he might as well confess now. He could already feel his cheeks reddening again.

"Except...?" Sirius waited.

"Except for Daisy," Remus admitted.

"I fucking knew it," Sirius said, looking a bit triumphant.

"Come on, it was when I was in Year 7, it hardly counts," Remus said, trying to brush it off. He definitely did NOT want to talk about his one past relationship, one that was very obviously immature when he looked back on it, with Sirius of all people.

Sirius though, cackled and demanded he tell him everything.

"Ugh!" Remus exhaled. "Fine. There is not much of a story. We both liked each other, we went out on a few dates, she was my first kiss, the end."

"Oh my God." Sirius said, his jaw open in mock surprise. "You've been kissed?!" Remus rolled his eyes again.

"Well, I can't believe I have to ask you this, but are you over her yet? Because come to think of it, I don't remember the last time you fancied someone, let alone dated them." Sirius said, only half joking.

"That's not true!" Remus objected. "Remember Claire Flanghorn? That was last year!" Claire Flanghorn was a Prefect from Hogwarts' sister school. The sister school was down the road from their's and evening drama practise made it easier to access girls last year. It lasted a solid five minutes.

"Oh please. You went out on two dates and they both sounded awful," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"They _were_ awful. I just... I don't know, I just think that dating right now is not really a priority for me."

Sirius shook his head. "You're the only 16 year old who would say that."

Remus just snorted.

Later that evening, as Remus laid in bed, he thought about Sirius. Like, really thought about him. And then he thought of himself.

The truth as to why he hadn't dated anyone since he started high school was because initially, there were a lack of options, being an all-boy boarding school and all that. Then very quickly he felt like maybe... like maybe women weren't the only options around? By around the end of Year 8, he was quite sure he had plenty of options to choose from, both men and women. And then Year 9, happened. Sirius not only turned out to be bisexual like he was, but he also turned out to be very, very hot. He had grown out his hair over the summer and he had a new demeanour about him. He was always very cocky, but Remus didn't seem to mind at all this time around. Even when he was being annoying on purpose.

And from that point on, he's always been too busy having Sirius on his mind to pay attention, let alone fall in love, with anyone else.

But recently a more serious, and quite frankly, a more depressing thought found its way into his head.

Sirius could never date a guy like Remus, could he?

Sirius was so... adventurous, and fun. And he's always doing something. Or someone. He's not the kind of guy who seemed to settle down or want to stay in a relationship with someone for more than 3 months (his longest relationship lasted 5 weeks).

And Remus? He was the kind of guy that didn't even get into relationships because he was too afraid his partner would leave him once they found out how boring he was in comparison.

Sirius liked motorcycles, and Remus liked libraries.

Sirius liked the wind in his hair, and well, Remus liked a gentle breeze.

If Sirius was a hurricane then he... well, he was not going to complete this train of thought with a John Green quote.

But his point was that Sirius was a free spirit and he was going to break Remus' heart one way or the other, because he was very much in love with him.

This was a terrible fucking idea, he suddenly concluded, to have Sirius stay over at his place like this. He was disrupting his summer, filling them with his actual presence and ruining what could have been pleasant, harmless daydreams instead. It was making Remus realize that him and Sirius could never be. Not in this world, where Sirius had starlit eyes and music on his face, and all Remus had were unwanted scars from a biking accident.

The next time Remus saw James, he decided, he was going to kill him. Actually kill him.

When Remus finally fell asleep, he did so to the faint sound of 'Stuck on the Puzzle' playing from somewhere far away.


	2. Chapter 2

When you’re young, your heart feels invincible. There is a sort of rigour in the feelings you feel, an obsessive passion that is quick to fade as quick it is to form. Young hearts, never scarred, never truly broken, never worn, efficient in their recovery. Sirius was acutely aware of all this. Him of all people, would know.

He was also acutely aware tonight, that his heart was no longer invincible. It was in fact, to his surprise, quite easily broken.

As Sirius hit the bed that night, his stomach full and head fuzzy, the thought that was circling his mind ever since Daisy appeared creeped back into his head.

It was a stupid thought, a thought he should have always considered wishful thinking, but being Sirius, he had always just... assumed.

He had sort of always assumed that Remus and him would circle back to each other one day.

It was stupid, it was dumb, it was almost baseless to think that way. Remus probably wasn't even into boys at all, even.

But there were moments... moments that seemed too real for it to have been accidental. Like that one time the four of them, at James's suggestion, had taken to the roof of the school and gotten drunk on some terrible tasting vodka. Peter had long passed out, and James was looking towards what Sirius had assumed was Lilly's dorm room 5 miles away, when Remus and Sirius had taken to playing a silly game of would you rather. 'Would you rather have to watch Binns and Trawleany have at it i the staff room or listen to James talk about Lilly's hair one more time,' had somehow turned to 'if you had to kiss one of the Marauders to save the world, would it rather it be James or Peter?' 

"Hmmm," Remus said, thoughtfully. "Well we all know James would be thinking of Evans the whole time, and I just don't think I can live with that...," he trailed. Sirius snorted. "So Peter?"

"Actually, if I'm being honest," Remus said, turning to face him, "I would rather kiss you." A breath caught in Sirius' throat. Suddenly they were sitting too close, and Sirius couldn't bring himself to look away from Remus's brown eyes. Remus, who did look away after what seemed like a second too long, said, "And if I'm still being honest, I wouldn't need to save the world to do so."

Sirius's heart leaped in his chest.

Maybe if he took his chance now, and kissed him, just like he's been wanting to for like a year, maybe he could make Remus realize that they were meant to be.

Maybe he could make him realize that this could be so much better than it was right now.

And even if he woke up tomorrow convinced this whole thing was a mistake, they could just blame it on the alcohol and forget about it.

It was now or never.

Remus looked a bit nervous, a bit wary, Sirius noticed. He wanted to touch him and tell him It was okay, that he felt the same way too.

Actually... Remus looked rather pale...

And just when Sirius was about to ask what was wrong, Remus threw up all over the roof, barely missing Sirius.

The moment, as it were, was clearly gone.

But that was just one incident. There were so many quiet glances and hand brushes that seemed too... pronounced to be something that happened just between friends.

It just... seemed like they were going to be together. Somehow.

Sirius, as he lay on his (well, Ronan's) bed, no longer sleepy or muzzy but rather quite depressed, realized that it was very much possible for other people to find Remus attractive. And that Remus would find them attractive too. And that maybe Remus was just being friendly and Sirius had looked too much into the small signs. And maybe Remus would actually date Daisy again, and maybe even marry her and have little Remuses and Daisys.

Sirius wanted to punch a wall.

But how could he have been so blind, so selfish? Of course others would find Remus just as intriguing and as lovely as Sirius did.

Remus was the quiet center in the middle of a storm. He was the voice of reason in an otherwise chaotic world. He was the warm fireside in an empty house. Remus had this gentle world-weariness about him. Sirius couldn't quite place why--was it because he was always so quiet, deep in thought (presumably)? Was it because of the faint scars on his cheeks? Maybe it was because of how much he had travelled when he was a young boy. Whatever it was, it made Sirius feel at home, like he belonged. He was yet to find a place warmer than Remus's hugs. 

He was his.

Or so he always thought.

He didn't know what to think.

You see, a sort of melancholy love is easy to fall into when you're in love with someone for a long time and they don't know. It's not quite unrequited, but it's not exactly a fully formed relationship yet. The other person does nothing to encourage  _ or _ discourage one’s thoughts and they all jumble up into one big pile of "what ifs".

It's a sort of limbo, that you're too afraid to get out of because you don't know what's on the other side. You don't know for sure, but you're quite certain it's heartbreak. Hence, the melancholiness of it all.

Sirius sighed and got up. He looked around the bedroom, the curtains which were slightly open to reveal a half moon, the yellow walls, the shelf of old music CDs. He got off the bed and went to the shelf. He ran his fingers over vinyl records and CDs, carefully collected and arranged over the years. He had never met Ronan, but he felt like they shared similar music tastes. Between Queen and a limited edition Beatles CD, he found a CD called Submarine. He put the CD into a CD player that run on batteries (talk about a blast from the past) and hit play on random.

He spent the night listening to the album over and over, until he eventually fell asleep to dreams of Remus in a park and drunk serenades.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

When Sirius woke up the next morning, he woke up to Remus opening the curtains, sending a stream of sunlight into the room.

Remus looked only slightly apologetic.

The record player was still playing some song from the album, something Sirius was now convinced was a song called 'Glass in the Park'.

"Good morning, sleepy-head," Remus said. He walked over to the player and stopped the music.

Sirius groaned. "That's my favourite song," he mumbled.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You have the whole summer to listen to it. I came here to tell you that my parents will be both be leaving soon for their annual getaway so it'll just be us in the house."

"Annual what?"

"Their two-week getaway. They always do it over the summer when my mum's off. She teaches at the local elementary school."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said, stretching his arms over his head.

His shirt rid up his navel, and Sirius noticed Remus looking.

Remus quickly looked away, outside the window.

Sirius smiled slightly, once again reassured that 'Sirius and Remus together forever' was something that he could still make happen.

If Remus wanted him half as much as Sirius wanted him, they would be already a thing.

Maybe Remus just needed pushing? Like into the right direction?

And then, right there with the sunlight streaming through Remus's hair, Sirius decided that he was going to do everything possible this summer to make Remus fall in love with him.

Sirius smirked, putting on what he thought was his seductive face, and turning himself onto his side to face Remus better, said, "So it's just... you and me then, is it, Remus?" He winked too, right at the end of the sentence.

Remus rolled his eyes, exasperated.

His seduction face was not working.

"James has been trying to call you, by the way," Remus said, pointing at the old beat up phone by Sirius's bed. Sirius hasn't heard it ring at all. He picked it up, and had '7 MISSED CALLS' greet his face.

"Oh shit. Was it urgent?"

"Not sure. It was ringing when I came in here."

Sirius sighed, and put the device back on his bedside table.

"Why doesn't he just call me?" Remus asked. "I mean we literally stay in the same house."

"I don't know, maybe he wants to ask how I'm doing seeing as I'm the one who's been disinherited from my family."

"What?" Remus asked. "Disinherited?"

"Come on, Remy. My mum said 'leave, and don't come back!'. I'm sure that means I'm disinherited now. Not like I'm losing anything really," he added.

Remus was looking at him with such pity on his face, Sirius wanted to punch a wall again.

"Stop it!" he said.

"Stop what?" 

"Stop looking at me like that."

Remus looked at him, puzzled.

"Like I'm a sorry case," Sirius said, quietly.

"Ha, I don't think that. I feel sorry for your family because it means I get to--I mean, we all get to have more of you." Remus said. His hand was making it's way to his neck again.

Sirius was about to say something, when his phone went off again.

James always had impeccable timing.

Groaning, he picked up the phone, and Remus, taking it as a cue to leave, waved and left, closing the door behind him.

"James," Sirius said, when he picked up the call, "this better be good because I was this close to kissing Remus and you just ruined it."

James scoffed on the other end. "Is that why you haven't been picking up for the last three hours?"

"Shut up, I was asleep. By the way, you should call Remy to say hi, I think he's starting to get jealous."

"Yeah I will, it's just that I wanted to check up on you first."

"I'm fiiinne," Sirius said. He hoped James could hear him roll his eyes.

"Stop rolling your eyes at me, Black," James sighed. "But really, how are you holding up?"

"Honestly, I'm fine. Remus and I went to the pond near his house yesterday. It was great until one of his ex-girlfriends showed up and invited us to a bonfire," Sirius said.

James realized Sirius harboured feelings for Remus before even Sirius did. Sometimes he wondered if James merely egged his feelings on or if he actually invented them.

Whenever Remus looked particularly good, and Sirius resorted to shamelessly checking him out whenever he could without Remus noticing, James would wink and smirk and tease. Honestly, Sirius was just doing some light sight-seeing, but James wasn't too sure. He was right of course. Pretty soon, Sirius realized that Remus always was charming, and that he had this way of making his heart skip a beat.

"Ex-girlfriends? You mean Claire Flanghorn?" asked James. 

"No, not Claire. Daisy," Sirius sighed, all of last night's thoughts pouring into his head again.  "Apparently, they were a thing when they were in middle school. Year 7. Can you imagine Year 7 Remus in love?" asked Sirius, incredulous.

"Whoa, hold on, step back a bit. Remus has a middle school ex-girlfriend named Daisy that invited the both of you to a bonfire?" asked James, sounding confused.

"Exactly."

"Oh... and Remus agreed?"

"Of course--well... I mean, I guess I technically agreed."

"...Remus got invited to a bonfire and you agreed to go?"

"She did invite the both of us, in my defense."

"Okay so what's the big deal?" he asked. "They're just two friend catching up!"

"Are they, James? Are they really? Because I was there and Ms. Daisy whatsherface really wanted to jump his pants by the looks of it."

"Stop exaggerating, Sirius!"

"I'm not!"

"You always do!"

Sirius resignedly fell back on his bed.

"Anyway, look, I called because my parents were worrying about you," James said. "They were feeling pretty awful about not being able to give you a place to stay."

"James, please, you have no idea how grateful I am for everything your parents have done for me. They shouldn't feel bad--they are in no obligation to house me, and I have plenty of room here," Sirius said. His heart truly could not bear how happy he was knowing that he could always count on his friends for anything he might need. They were always there for him, his solid pillars of support.

"Yeah, yeah," James said.

"Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin are going to be out for two weeks on a getaway." Sirius said, remembering.

"Oh right their annual getaway! Ohhh, so it's just you and Remus, all alone in a giant house huh," sniggered James.

"Shut up."

When he finally hung up, and left the room for breakfast, he could hear Remus's phone go off in the room next door, and Remus say, "Ah, Yes, James Potter, that name does ring a bell."

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

"Come on, Remy, don't be so dramatic," James said from the other end of the line.

Remus was being dramatic, and he knew it, but he was not going to let it go.

"You called Sirius at least three times since he got here, and you called me not even once!" Remus said. He was pacing around his room, looking for a shirt to change into after having dropped milk on himself in the kitchen while making tea.

"Yes, because Sirius obviously needed me more. Okay, anyway, how are you putting up with him?"

"Eager to change the subject are you, Mr. Potter?"

James laughed lightly at the other end. "Okay, yeah, a little bit," he said, with a hint of guilt in his voice. "But really though, how are you putting up with him?"

Remus sighed.

James knew about him and Sirius. He wasn't sure how, because he never told him anything, not explicitly, never openly. But anytime something would happen that would threaten to break Remus's heart, like when Sirius started dating Loralie Bedlam in Year 10, James always seemed to... understand. It was a very specific incident that involved Loralie, actually. Year 10, Sirius started to date Loralie, and this was around the same time James was pining after Lily Evans. Hoping that Loralie would somehow help him secure a date with Lily, James proposed that the Maruaders hang out with Loralie and her friends on their next trip to Hogsmaede, a quaint village that the students of both schools were allowed to visit during the weekends. About 15 minutes into the day, Remus wanted to throw himself off a building. He wasn't sure if he wanted to throw himself or both Sirius and Loralie instead. They were so cheesy and in love, it was disgusting. Sirius would not stop looking at her like she held all the answers and she would not stop kissing him every chance she got.

He was feeling awful and broken hearted, and James could see it. When Remus announced that he wanted to go back because he "wasn't feeling well," James just nodded, silently understanding. He volunteered to drop him off at the school, and only ever said one thing the whole way there: "Don't listen to sad love songs thinking it will help, it will not." (Remus did not heed his advice and listened to Love is a Laserquest on repeat for a week, which was approximately how long Sirius and Loralie lasted).

Remus sighed happily, thinking back to the previous day's pond outing. "It's been great. We went out to the lake yesterday and it was so beautiful out. I didn't know flowers could be so... vibrant."

"Uh huh... was that the only thing you found vibrant on this little excursion?" James teased.

"Well, the shorts Sirius wore were pretty vibrant too."

James laughed. "Right on. So what's this I hear about a bonfire?"

"Oh right," Remus said. "That's all there is to it, really. It's a bonfire and an old friend invited us to it."

"An old friend... or an old flame?" Remus could hear James snickering.

"An old FRIEND. That's all. She and I happened to date a couple of times and that's all there is to it. Did Sirius tell you that she was an old flame? He should really shut up..."

"Yeah, I don't think he's going to. Listen, you're not actually mad that i didn't call you sooner, right?" asked James.

"Not quite as mad as I should be," said Remus.

"What can I say, you love me too much to stay mad at me for too long," said James, happily.

"Speaking of people staying mad at you, how's Lily?" asked Remus.

"Oh... Yeah. Well, she has sent me exactly zero texts so far," he said.

"She still mad, then?"

"Yeah."

"You planning on making up for it or not?"

"Of course I want to! I just... I don't know how. I mean, you agree that Snape is a bit weird, right?"

"I don't know, James... if they've been friends for years, then isn't it weird that someone else wants to dictate what's okay and what's not in their friendship?"

"Look, it's not like I'm saying she shouldn't hang out with him. He seems alright, for the most part, but his friends? They're just creeps. I've seen those jerks around, just being assholes to women and children, causing mayhem, terrorising the neighbourhood Seven-Eleven."

"Cat calling, that's suddenly beneath you?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"I mean, we are never that crude! Our compliments were... more gentlemanly," James said, incredulously.

"I guess...."

"Look, I just know that one of them was definitely in prison on drug charges."

"Yeah, and how do you know that again?"

"TRESPASSING IS NOT THE SAME THING! Besides, I stayed locked up for like, three hours. That guy looked like he had settled in there."

Remus laughed. "I know, I just like getting you worked up. Why don't you just call her?"

"I tried. She didn't pick up."

"Then keep trying!"

After talking to James for a few more minutes, and finding himself a clean shirt, Remus went downstairs.

"Ah Remy! We were just telling Sirius here about our vacation," his mum said. His mum always was chripier as the day to the Annual Lupin-Parents-Only Getaway came around.

"We're going to London," his dad said, "Because your aunt stays there. We think the long drive there would be great, don't you?"

Remus made a non-committal sound.

"I promise to look after Remus and make sure he doesn't do anything too crazy," Sirius winked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I doubt it's me they're worried about."

"We're not worried about either of you," Mr. Lupin said, "we trust that the both of you are going to be responsible young men," he said, in what Remus could only assume was his father's "stern" voice.

"Yes, I second that," his mom chimed in. "Absolutely. You both are grown men, and can take care of yourselves... right?" she asked, all confidence having evaporated by the time she got to the last word of her sentence.

"Mom. We'll be fine! Don't worry, we got this."

"I'm making extra sandwiches and chicken, okay? There's eggs and milk in the fridge, and plenty of cereal. For dinner and lunch, just order in if you don't want to cook anything," she continued.

Remus could sense all the mothering that the both of them would be facing for the next week.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The fact that the day Mr. & Mrs. Lupin travelled for London coincided with the very same night the bonfire was happening was fate, or so Sirius was convinced.

The day came quickly, but not unexpectedly as both Remus and Sirius were making plans of what they were going to do now that they were having the house to themselves. Ideas were thrown around, not one being dismissed.

When the day finally arrived, Sirius practically jumped out of his bed in the morning and rushed through his morning routine.

When he went downstairs, all freshly bathed and with his hair neatly combed, Remus took one look at him and nearly choked on his cereal.

"You interviewing for something?" he finally said, coughing.

Sirius looked down at what he was wearing. It was one of Ronan's old button-downs, which were, he admitted, a tad bit tighter around his torso and arms than he would have liked, and a pair of his old jeans.

"What's wrong with this?" he asked Remus. Sirius always thought button-downs and jeans is what got him laid on the first date.

Remus looked at him for what seemed like two really long seconds, then shrugged and went back to his cereal.

Sirius, also shrugged, and joined Remus with a bowl of his own. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were bustling about, checking off last minute items lest they forget them. Padfoot followed Mrs. Lupin around, excited with all the bustling. The environment was probably a big change for Padfoot too, thought Sirius, and for a second his heart was filled with pity for the poor lab.

As Sirius piled on some more cereal into his bowl, Remus gave him a reluctant looking smile and asked, "Do we really have to go for the bonfire tonight?"

"Of course we do!" Sirius exclaimed. Everything depended on this bonfire. Especially the free-flowing booze. There  _is_ free-flowing booze at these things, right?

"But I really don't want to," said Remus, sounding as miserable as he looked. "I know no one there except for Daisy--and the last time I spoke to her was nearly a decade ago."

"Excuses, excuses, dear Remus," Sirius replied, patting him on the head rather patronizingly. "We're going tonight weather you like it or not. It'll be good for you, the socializing."

Remus snorted, and having finished with his breakfast, stood up to help his parents with packing.

"Let's just go for an hour?" asked Sirius, trying to compromise.

"Yeah, right. Because usually these things last an hour," came the sarcastic reply. Sirius could hear the smile in his voice though, so he didn't press him.

The goodbyes with the Lupins was rather a dramatic affair. There were tears (Mrs. Lupin), hugs, (Mrs. Lupin) and kisses (also, Mrs. Lupin). Mr. Lupin just sat in the car while his wife hugged both the boys, making a motion for her to hurry up.

"There's chicken in the fridge! And sandwiches in Ziploc bags. That should sustain you guys for a couple of days at least," she said. "Yes, mum, I know," said Remus, used to the whole thing seeing as how his parents went on this trip every year.

"And I've left some emergency contact numbers on the counter, alright? People you can call in case you need anything. I also put down the fire and police numbers down there, just in case," she said, sounding more and more frantic with each passing second.

"Aren't the numbers for the fire department and the police the same everywhere?" asked Remus. "Mum, stop fussing. Go and have fun. Sirius and I will be fine. We live in a boarding school all on our own for most of the year, remember?"

"Yes, alright," Mrs. Lupin said. Just when the boys thought that she was done, she pulled Sirius into a violent hug, and said, "Please take care of yourself, you got that? Remus will take care of whatever you may need. I'm just a call away, and if there's an emergency of any kind, just ring me, I'll be back on the next flight home."

Sirius, unable to breathe, wheezed out, "YesthanksmrsLupin," with what he thought was the last breath he had left. She let go, only to take a look at him, and hug him again. "You've got to be kidding!" Remus said.

"Okay, alright, I'm letting you kids go," she said, releasing Sirius, and simultaneously wiping away a tear. "I love you both very much."

"Love you too, mum."

"Love you three, Mrs. Lupin."

Mr. Lupin honked his horn, signalling that they were going to be late.

As the car finally left the driveway, Sirius put an arm around Remus. "Its just you and me now, Remy."

Remus rolled his eyes and made his way back into the house.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

 

The bonfire was not as bad as Remus feared it would have been. Despite knowing exactly one person, everyone seemed friendly, freely hugging and exchanging compliments. It could have been the booze. When a boy around his own age came up to him and said "Nice butt you got there," he came to the conclusion that it was most definitely the booze.

Turning pink, he just bowed awkwardly and left the boy lazily slurping his beer, already having moved on to a group of girls.

Sirius and Remus had both arrived at exactly half past eight. Remus thought that was extremely late and Sirius thought it was extremely appropriate. Sirius was right--when they showed up, there were just a few people milling about, but as the time passed, more and more people were showing up.

Remus was searching the crowd for Sirius and was coming up short. He had gone to get some drinks but he couldn't really seem to place him anywhere.

Just as he decided to give up looking for Sirius, he heard a familiar voice say, "Looking for me?" 

He turned around to come face to face with Daisy. She was wearing a dress with--as funny as it was--daisies on them.

"Oh hey!"

"Hello, yourself," Daisy winked.

After a second of awkward silence, Remus blurted, "I like your dress!"

Daisy giggled self-consciously. "Yeah, a friend thought it would be funny if I wore this out tonight... actually you've been the only one to notice it has daisies on them so far. Like, if that's what you were referring to."

"Yes of course, the daisies! Because y'know... your name's Daisy!" said Remus. He was mentally kicking himself hard.

Then, just to make up for how stupid he was being, he said, "Nice party! I mean, bonfire. It's a good set up."

"Oh, thanks! It didn't really take much time. We just lit up a log and brought the booze."

"Well, nothing like booze and a bonfire to set a party going."

"Yeah, I have to agree! Why aren't you holding a drink though? Let me get you one."

She rushed off into the crowd before Remus could say no.

He wanted to drown right into the sea. Why couldn't he socialize with her like a normal person? He felt a warmth right next to his shoulder then, and he didn't have to guess who it was because he could hear him snigger. "'Good set up you have here!'" Sirius mocked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Sirius."

It just made him laugh harder.

"Do you think she's coming back?" asked Remus. "Don't think so, bud," Sirius said, patting him consolingly on the shoulder.

"Well, so much for that."

Remus resignedly turned around to make his way to the beach, hoping to catch some waves and a cool breeze away from the rest of the party. It was getting a bit crowded around the bonfire as the night was wearing on, and he was feeling stuffy.

He walked towards the water and looked up. He could see the stars in the sky, it was so clear. He searched for the Sirius constellation, the one he always looked for when the sky was clear like this. It was technically called Canis Major but he'd rather call it the Sirius. It just felt right.

He made his way to the edge of the water, and was contemplating if he should remove his shoes or not when he realized that Daisy had followed him, with two drinks in hand.

"Where had you gone off to?" She said, sounding like she was reprimanding him.

"Oh sorry--I just figured you would have been busy. Thank you so much." He took a red solo cup from her and took a sip of the world's most bitter beer he had ever had.

"Yeah, the beer is not that great," Daisy said, apologetically, as she saw his face scrunch up. 

"So... are you enjoying the stars?" She asked him, looking up at the sky herself.

"Yeah... I'm a bit of a star gazer."

"Really?" She asked, her voice teasing.

"Yeah. You see the star there? That one's called Bellatrix... It forms The Orion constellation."

"Remus..." Daisy started, turning to look at him, completely serious. "There are literally a million stars in the sky... I have no idea which one you're talking about."

Remus laughed, and took another sip of his terrible beer.

"So are you planning to come back to the bonfire and dance with me or not?"

Remus grinned. "Yeah sure, of course."

They made their way back to the bonfire, like moths to a light, and holding their cups in their hands, bobbed along to whatever 90's pop was playing through an iPod dock.

As Remus and Daisy bobbed along, Remus once again searched the crowd for Sirius, this time spotting him talking to some brunette girl he had been eyeing earlier that evening.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

When Remus and Sirius decided to leave, it was nearly 12am. No one else seemed to want to leave, and the "gathering" was turning loud.

Sirius wasn't sure if Remus could feel him seething.

Just as they were leaving, Remus waved at Daisy, who came over and pecked him on the cheek. Remus just laughed sheepishly, and rubbing that spot behind his neck, waved at her again and left. Remus still had a stupid smile on his face and Sirius hated it.

Well, no, not hate. Remus looked good when he smiled. As rare as it was, it was worth it.

Still, loathing the reason behind it, he said "So. You and Daisy are what? A thing now?" it came out more accusatory and less nonchalant than he had hoped. But Remus didn't seem to notice. He actually didn't seem to have heard him. He was looking at the sky again, and suddenly stopping, pointed to some random star in the sky and said "Sirius!"

Sirius didn't even bother looking up. He knew exactly what Remus was pointing at. "Yeah. A star. That I was named after. I know. You've shown it to me like a million times..."

"Yeah, but what can I say, Sirius? It feels like the first time, every time." 

Sirius scoffed. "Are you... flirting, Remus Lupin?" he asked. Maybe it was the shitty beer, but he could have sworn Remus' eyes darted towards his lips for a second.

"Do you want me to, Sirius Black?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, feeling less loathsome. And then, deciding to take it up a notch he said, "Always, Remus Lupin."

Remus let out a single laugh.

"I'm not kidding," Sirius said, in all seriousness. Remus, probably mistaking it for deadpan humor just laughed again. "Like you would actually date a bore like me."

Sirius was taken aback. "A bore? Who said you were a bore?"

"Me."

"Well you should tell yourself to fuck off, because you're not boring."

"Okay."

"I mean it! You're... the opposite of boring."

Remus laughed again. “Yeah I’m sure that these scars on my face make me look mysterious and interesting,” he said.

“Scars? I don’t think of them as scars,” Sirius said.

“Really? What do you reckon these lines of pink flesh are then?”

“Poetry.”

“...poetry?”

“Yes. I think your face is full of poetry. Just like you are. I could write poetry about you for hours, y’know,” he said.   
Remus stopped walking. “Let’s hear one, then,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Er… okay.” Sirius cleared his throat.

“Your love…,” he started. Remus looked at him expectantly.

“ Your love is like a studded leather headlock,

Your kiss, it put could creases in the rain.

You're rarer than a can of dandelion and burdock,

And those other boys are just Postmix lemonade.”

Remus looked a bit stunned, and then burst out laughing. “Somehow, that sounds very familiar,” he joked. “Well, the Arctic Monkeys knew what they were talking about,” Sirius laughed.

As they made their way back home, Sirius felt the urge to hold Remus' hand but he stopped himself. Maybe that would have been taking it a bit too far? What if Remus freaked out and thought it was weird? Or would he just think it was a normal thing friends did? Friends held hands, right? It was a normal thin---

He felt Remus' hand softly going over his fingers.

He held his hand back.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

All Remus could feel was the terrible pounding at the back of his head. His tongue felt heavy and dry. He opened one eye, gingerly, slowly, as with each movement his head just seemed to hurt more.

He wasn't in his room.

It took him a while before he realized he was in Ronan’s old room. What was he doing here? He must have missed his own door and walked in here instead…

He felt someone move beside him.

He woke up with a jolt, suddenly realizing exactly where he was and whom he was sharing his bed with. He turned to look at Sirius, who was stirring but still asleep, and who was also most definitely not wearing his button down shirt anymore.

Ugh, must he always look this good?

Remus slowly made his way out of the bed, trying to not move too much lest he woke Sirius up by accident, and quietly tried to leave the room.

“Remus…?”

Remus stood by the door, his hand over the knob, about to leave. He turned around. Sirius had his face scrunched up, and his eyes were still closed. “Yes, Sirius?”

“I think I threw up in the bathroom last night.”

“That’s gross… I'll take care of it.”

“Okay. I also think I kissed you last night. Or was about to.”

Remus, taken aback, just stared at him. Sirius still had his eyes closed.

He tried to think back to last night and racked his brain. Did he kiss Sirius last night? He didn't think so. He remembered walking home, he remembered holding his hand, he knew they got home and just crashed…

“I think I would have remembered if we kissed, Sirius,” he said.

“Oh so I was just about to, then.” Sirius flopped his head back onto the bed as if nothing had happened.

Remus stood there for a second, unable to process what that meant. Then he shrugged, and left the room.

He wasn't going to think too much about that comment, he decided. Sirius always said stuff like that. He was always flirting and saying things he didn't fully mean. Like that one time when he drunkenly declared that Remus had the most beautiful face he had ever seen. Sure, it was in the dead of the night, and Sirius seemed to have purposefully woken him up to say it. But that didn’t mean he actually meant it.

He made his way downstairs to make some tea. As he walked by the front door to get into the kitchen, he noticed that there was a powder-blue envelope by the door. He picked it up, and turned it over.

It was addressed to him.

He opened the letter, walking into the kitchen again.

 

_ ‘Dear Remus, _

_ It was great meeting you last night. I don’t think I got tell you goodbye properly. Anyway, I think it would be nice to meet up again soon. But maybe on a date this time? _

_ Here’s my number: 020-8989-898. _

_ Call me :) _

_ Daisy _

_ P.S I hope the beer doesn’t give you too much of a hangover---it usually does.’ _

 

Remus had stopped walking. He stared at the letter. He wasn’t sure what he was going to about this. 

No way did he want to date Daisy! This was all Sirius’ fault. If they only stayed home...

It was too early and his head was hurting too much to really think about it, so he left the letter on the counter and made his tea.

After his second cup of tea (his headache was definitely receding), he wondered why Sirius wasn’t downstairs yet. He couldn’t hear him upstairs at all.

‘Sirius?’ he called.

He didn’t get any answer back.

So he climbed up the stairs again, realizing he was still wearing the same clothes from last night, and reached Sirius’ doorway.

He opened the door lightly, and peeped in.

Sirius still seemed to be asleep.

He walked in, and went as close to Sirius as possible without actually touching him. Then, taking in a deep breath, he--

“Don’t even think about it,” mumbled Sirius.

Remus snorted. “What are you talking about?” he said, straightening up.

“You know exactly,” came the reply.

Remus pulled up a chair next to the bed, and plopped himself down on it.

“I wasn’t going to yell into your ear, y’know,” he said.

“Sure.”

“I made some tea.”

Sirius grunted in response.

“Are you alright? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this hungover,” Remus said.

“Actually, I think I’m still a bit drunk.”

Looking around the room, Remus’ eyes fell on the beat-up CD player. He stood up and walked to the old thing, remembering all the songs his brother introduced him to when they were younger.

He went to the CD collection his brother had, and chose ‘Suck It And See’. It was a favourite.

He put it in, and hit play.

He opened the curtains, and immediately regretted it. Remus and Sirius hissed at the sun at the same time, but Remus wasn’t going to close them back. They both needed to sober up at least a little bit.

“I feel like a werewolf,” Remus grunted as he made his way back to the chair with his eyes half closed.

“You mean a vampire,” mumbled Sirius, who now had his head into a pillow.

“Whatever.”

After a minute or two, when the tracklist changed from ‘She’s Thunderstorms’ to ‘Black Treacle’ Remus decided he was going to get himself another cup of tea.

“Sirius? Cuppa tea?” he offered, getting up. When Sirius grunted in reply, he decided he was going to get him a cup too.

As he passed by his room, he once again realized he was wearing the same clothes from last night. This time, he also noticed that he smelled really quite rancid.

His headache was still very persistent though. He needed a shower. Sirius could wait an extra ten minutes for his tea right?

He got into the shower two minutes later, and let the warm water hit his face. He wasn’t sure if it was helping, but he could at least feel the smell of last night wash away. Last night…

He remembered dancing with Daisy for a bit, and then looking for Sirius. He was chatting up some other girl, was her name Glo? That’s a weird name. Maybe it was short for something. He then thought back to the walk home. That was quite nice. Probably the highlight of his night, actually. He was trying to spot Sirius (the constellation), and he did. It took him a second because he forgot where it was during the summer, but he found it again. And then, he  _ thinks _ they flirted. He wasn’t sure. Something along the lines of flirting, surely. But then they also held hands for a few seconds.

Yeah, that was pretty good.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

He got out of the shower feeling refreshed, and made his way downstairs. He realized that he was somehow walking  _ towards _ the music as he walked downstairs rather than move away from it… as he walked into the kitchen, he spotted why. Sirius was downstairs already, making the both of them tea. He was dressed this time (not in the clothes from last night) and he had brought the CD player with him.

The CD player was still playing the same album, and it was well into ‘Library Pictures’.

“Well,” Remus started. “I’ll have a cup, then.”

He sat by the counter as Sirius refilled his empty tea cup. Taking his own tea, Sirius gestured at the envelope that Remus had left, forgotten already, on the counter.

Remus stiffened and shrugged. “Yeah, I found that by the door this morning,” he said tonelessly.

“Cool,” said Sirius. Then after a second, he said, “So… are you going to call her… or…?”

“Nope,” said Remus, too quickly. Then backtracking, he said, “Er, I just don’t think we gel well together.”

“Right,” said Sirius, matter-of-factly. “She doesn’t really seem like your type, anyway,” he continued.

Remus nodded slowly. “Yep. Maybe when I was twelve, but not now.”

“Right.”

“She doesn’t even know what the Canis Major constellation is!”

“Well, that’s a deal breaker!” Sirius said, sarcastic.

“For sure! And! She has terrible taste in beer.”

Sirius laughed. “ _ That _ I do agree with. What, they couldn’t get their hands on something classy? Like Carlsberg?”

Remus made a non-committal sound, and continued drinking his tea.

Then clearing his throat, he said, “What about the brunette you were speaking to, then? Glo, was it?”

“You mean Chlo. Like Chloe.”

“Oh yeah, that makes more sense.”

“Yeah, what about her?”

Remus stared at Sirius. “Did--did you get her number, or--or anything? She seemed nice, sort of.”

“Wow, trying to set me up now, are we?” asked Sirius, laughing.

“Not if I can help it…” mumbled Remus.

Sirius stopped laughing, and sat back straight in his chair. He crossed his arms, and stared at Remus, with an unreadable expression on his face.

“What…?” venture Remus, worried about what Sirius was about to do. He didn’t think he had ever seen Sirius so… annoyed? Puzzled? Confused?

“Remus, I think we need to talk.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius wasn’t sure he knew what he was doing. All he knew was that he needed to get this over with. With Suck It And See starting to play, he took a deep breath and stared at Remus.

“Er, yeah. I mean, sure, I might be still a bit drunk from last night, but like… all this flirting…?” he started.

“Okay, yeah, sure.”

Sirius looked up at Remus.

“What do you mean ‘okay yeah sure’?”

“You think it’s weird, and you want me to stop. I get it.”

“Er…”

Well, what Sirius was  _ going _ to say was that he kind of liked all the flirting and wondered if there was anything more to it, but he wasn’t sure if that’s what Remus wanted anymore.

“Well,” Sirius said, “If you think it’s weird and you want it to stop, then yeah, let’s not do that anymore.” Could Remus hear the disappointment in his voice? (Yes, yes he could).

“N-no, that’s not what I meant--I meant, yeah, if  _ you _ think it’s weird then I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable in any way…” trailed Remus, sipping his tea. He was blatantly avoiding eye contact, could Sirius sense that? (Also, yes, yes Sirius could).

“Well,  _ I _ never said it was making me uncomfortable,” stated Sirius.

“Oh. Okay. So… it makes you feel  _ comfortable _ , then?”

“Er…” Sirius didn’t think he had ever felt this flustered, and he was basically the king of embarrassment.

Remus’ hand was making its way to the back of his neck again.

Sirius sighed.

“Okay, look. Here’s the thing.”

He stood up and took the chair next to Remus as opposed to across from him.

“We  _ have _ been flirting, right?” he asked.

Remus just nodded, his hand was rubbing the back of his neck again.

“Okay, so… I just think that I… I like that.”

Remus looked troubled.  “Okay…”

“Yeah.”

“I like it too,” said Remus, matter-of-factly.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, and nodded. “Great.”

“So… does this mean you want to keep flirting?” asked Remus.

“Yeah. Full-time, if possible, actually,” said Sirius, a small smile spreading over his face.

“Okay, but Sirius, what does this mean?” asked Remus. He was no longer rubbing that spot behind his neck, and he looked more like he was negotiating a deal than actually confessing his true love, which is what Sirius was hoping would happen by now.

But he knew what Remus meant.

“Look, I know it’s weird. We’ve known each other for ages, we’ve been through  _ too _ much, and we share too many things, we’re most likely jeopardizing our friendship  _ and _ our friends circle, because James would obviously choose my side if we broke up--”

“--debatable--”

“--but you have to admit, this… feels  _ right _ … right?”

Remus looked like he was thinking it over in his head.

“I… I don’t know. You might be right.”

Sirius sighed.

“Remus, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring this up and… I don’t know. I just think we had to talk about it. Or at least,  _ I _ wanted to. Before you decided to call Daisy up, or whatever.”

Remus laughed.

“I wasn’t going to call Daisy,” he said. “I didn’t even want to go to the stupid bonfire, I only went because you kept insisting. Besides, I don’t like Daisy in that way anyway.”

Sirius just stared.

“Besides, she… doesn’t know how to ride a motorcycle. Which is y’know, a prerequisite for dating me,” he continued.

“Oh, it is?” Sirius asked.

“Yep.”

“Since when?”

“I want to say since… I saw a friend ride a motorcycle once, and I thought yep, that’s what I would like.”

“Huh… well, I know someone that does ride motorcycles who might be interested.”

“Really? Does his wardrobe also consist of just leather jackets and worn off jeans?”

“You know what? Yes.”

“Brilliant. Let’s talk hair. Does he have--”

“Long, beautiful, wavy hair.”

“And what about his--”

Sirius had moved more quickly than Remus had anticipated. He was kissing him.

And Remus was kissing him back.

There could have been literal sparks in the air, Sirius felt electric. He leaned in, and pulled Remus closer until there was hardly any room left between them. He could feel Remus’ warmth over his chest, his hands on his back. Before either of their hands could move anywhere else, Sirius pulled back, and stared into Remus’ chocolate brown eyes.

“Remus.”

“Sirius.”

“I’m worried.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” said Sirius.

Remus exhaled loudly, in a sort of half-scoff, remembering his thoughts from a week ago. “I think it’s a bit too late for that, don’t you?”

Sirius looked at him, understanding. “Right.” He pulled Remus closer, and kissed him again.


	5. Epliogue

It had been three weeks since Remus and Sirius went to the bonfire. Remus had  _ yet _ to read Love in the Time of Cholera, but he wasn’t complaining.

At Sirius’ insistence, they had been on quite a few dates since then (“But Remus, I want to dote on you. I want to give you the full Sirius Black Boyfriend Experience.” “There is simply no need.” “But there is!”)

Remus knew Sirius to be quite the romantic, but didn’t expect the post-it love notes in the pockets of his jeans if he “spent the night”. That was another thing Remus found hilarious--that Sirius would often end their dates with a playful, “So… your place or mine?” Remus, after one particularly fun date that involved more drinking than he was used to, suggested they go up into the treehouse his father had built him when he was seven. It had been years since he was in there, and it still wasn’t dismantled (it was no surprise that Mr. Lupin had left it there, really. The Lupins famously celebrated Christmas all year long).

The tree house was a lot smaller than Remus remembered it to be, and it barely fit the both of them, but it didn’t mean that the tree house wasn’t  _ thoroughly _ explored. Remus had always assumed he had known Sirius as well as one could, but hadn’t seen this side of Sirius before. And it was absolutely amazing. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming half the time.

When they broke the news to James, there was theatrical gasping, followed by, “Fin-aLLY!” (Lily was talking to James again, apparently, because they got a call from her too. She sounded ecstatic for the both of them).

One morning, just a few days before Remus’ parents returned from their trip, they decided they were going to fix the flaky ceilings in both of their rooms. They were a bit sick of staring at sad looking ceilings every night. They got the supplies they needed, put on some overalls and got to work.

It was at this point when Sirius asked Remus a question that had been running circles in his head.

“Remus?” he started, mixing a second pot of paint.

“Yes, darling.”

“Do you think we’re making a mistake?”

“Painting the ceiling with just overalls? Er,  _ yes _ , I told you, doing this with overalls is not a good idea, we should be using one of those hazmat suits.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Oh come on. You know what I mean.”

Remus sighed. And then he smiled. “Sirius. If this is a mistake, then it’s the only mistake I want to keep making.”

Sirius laughed, and kissed him.

And if Remus was being honest, this was the only thing he was sure about, actually. He didn’t want to think about the year after, when they graduated and decided on where to pursue further education. Heck, he wasn’t even going to think about tomorrow. He didn’t know how anything was going to turn out to be like, but for now, all he knew and cared about was that Sirius Black, the love of his life, was his. He was here, in his house, helping with the groceries, helping with the cooking, and helping with these flaky ceilings.

And that’s all he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue! Yay. Wasn't sure if I should post all of it at once or post a chapter a week, but here ya go.  
> I'm trying to work on my writing, so comments and feedback is highly appreciated. Let me know if you liked it!


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